


Indie is the new Hipster.

by harry_is_bliss



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: 17-Year-Old Harry, 23 year old Louis, Abused Harry, Bad Boy Louis, Bottom Harry, Cute Harry, Fluff, Happy Ending, Innocent Harry, Louis swears a lot, M/M, Older Louis, Pretty Harry, Protective Louis, Punk Louis, Sad Harry, Shy Harry, Smut, Top Louis, Zarry bromance - Freeform, abusive ben, ben hits harry, ben is a bit of a creep, but he's actually really sweet, girly Harry, harry likes to wear nail polish, he can't let harry find out, it's kind of stupid, louis has a stupid list, louis saves harry, sorry - Freeform, zayn is protective of harry too
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-17
Updated: 2015-12-04
Packaged: 2018-03-13 08:47:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 18
Words: 18,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3375209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harry_is_bliss/pseuds/harry_is_bliss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"No!" Harry cried. "Please, don't let go of me, Louis! Don't let him get me! Please!"</p><p>"Baby, it's okay. Shh, that's it, I'm not going anywhere. You're safe, I'm here, I'll protect you. I promise, baby, I promise." Louis said softly, twirling his fingers through Harry's soft curls. Normally it would be comforting, but the memories of the nightmare were overwhelming. Harry's breathing was heavy and his eyes were red, his body trembling from each broken sob that escaped his lips. He pushed the ugly thoughts from his head and thought of Louis. Beautiful, charming and funny Louis who smelled of love and smiled brighter than the sun. Louis would keep him safe. </p><p>He promised.</p><p>(or the one where Louis creates a list of people he'd shag, the cute and shy boy from the library may be on the top of it...and the only one on it."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. prologue.

**Author's Note:**

> literally just a preview, it's not that good considering I'm sick and it's midnight. Next chapter should be up soon though :) tell me what you think.x

Music blared throughout the house as people grinded on each other, each individual high off the others energy. Probably hoping they'd get laid. If Harry was being honest, he was hoping he could get some tonight, too. He's been very stressed after just having a week of exams and he was hoping he could get someone to help him relax. It has been a pretty long time. He deserves this, he kept assuring herself, he needs this. 

Harry shifted nervously as many eyes skimmed his body. No matter how much he feels he needs this, he wasn't sure if he fully wanted it. Harry has only ever experienced one sexual encounter in his life and he wasn't sure if he wanted to anything like it again. The last man, a tall manipulative man named Ben, was way older than Harry and he wasn't very gentle. They'd dated for almost a year before finally sleeping together, which was Harry's first time, and Ben had broken up with him a week later claiming 'Harry was too clingy' and 'I'm not looking for a relationship right now'. Complete bullshit. Maybe he should just wait to be in a committed relationship with a nice guy who actually cares about him, instead of having a meaningless one night stand with some wasted douche.

And if Harry was being honest, he wasn't quite over Ben.

Ben had left shortly after saying he had made plans with a woman named Meredith, which is okay. Perfect actually. But it would have been nice to not be left alone without a goodbye kiss, or even a simple hug, with two cups of coffee in the middle of a cold park, surrounded by loneliness. Harry hasn't seem him in over a week, and it's clear he's made no attempt to find Harry.

Harry doesn't think he likes the idea of love as much as he used to. 

But he's not going to think about that now. He came here to have fun, not mope about Ben-fucking-Winston. Personally, Harry thinks it should be Winshit. He chuckled at his own joke. He'll have to say that one to Zayn.

He passed Nick Grimshaw, tall hair and and big grins all too real, and Harry smiled. Nick smiled too, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to Harry's check. The two giggled together. This was a normal thing for them to do, they'd been good friends since they met last Spring at the small corner cafe by the university. 

"It's good to see you without a book for once!" He joked and Nick laughed. It was true. Nick spent the last month studying.

"No, seriously. I can't believe how many Shakespeare quotes I've heard this past month- all from you, Grimshaw! Every flaming one of them!" 

"Sod off," Nick smiled and leaned against the wall, watching some guys beginning to get rough with one another. A few minutes later another friend of Harry's came barreling out of the kitchen, holding a cup of what he guessed was vodka mixed with coke. Judging by the fact he could hardly stand. It was his favorite party drink, too. 

"Styles!" Zayn exclaimed, "I convinced the DJ to play some Michael Jackson songs! Don't you just love Michael Jackson? Best artist to live, ever!" He moved his body and bopped his head, holding Harry's wrist in his hand. Yeah, he decided, he was definitely drunk. Zayn is normally really shy and quiet, unless he's hyped up on weed or drunk off his mind. Harry's thinks he prefers when Zayn is timid and quiet, he's a good person and great to cuddle, if he does say so himself. Harry doesn't like Zayn doing drugs; it's taken enough convincing for Harry to allow Zayn to smoke in their flat, but Harry only allows Zayn weed some days. Plus, he owes him. Zayn spooned him to sleep nearly every night this week. None of it had to do with Ben, of course. He's not that pathetic.

"Yeah, he's great" Harry grinned, and Zayn grinned back. He could barely stand. 

"I need to piss. And maybe throw up."

Harry laughed at that and focused on trying to remember what way the entrance of the house was. Zayn would definitely be hungover tomorrow and it'd best for the both of them that he doesn't drink anymore, so he couldn't stay longer. It was getting late as Coldplay began blaring through the house, much to Zayn's anger as he started shouting 'who the fuck turned off Micheal?' Harry didn't mind too much, he loves Coldplay. Abandoning his friends, he pulled Zayn into the sitting room, said boy stumbling his way behind him. If Zayn was this clumsy drunk, Harry couldn't imagine how bad he himself would be.

"Ohhh, Haz, look!" Zayn gushed, pointing to something across the room. Harry couldn't see because of the crowd and continued to try and pull Zayn away. "Haz, Haz, Curly, man-child! It's Niall! Isn't Niall cute, Harry? Niall is my little cutie." Harry rolled his eyes, puffing as Zayn tried to lead him towards the Irish man, burping through his drunken slurs. "Haz, can I go see him? Please?"

"Grand," Harry sighed, releasing his hold on the drunken boys wrist, "but I'm leaving, mate."

"Aww, Haz!" Zayn burst into a fit of giggles, throwing his arms around Harry's neck and pressing a big, slobbery kiss to Harry's cheek. Harry pulled a disgusted face and pried Zayn's arms off of him. Zayn just grinned, turning on his feet and skipping twards the laughing blond boy, who greeted him with open arms and a wide grin. Harry just stood back in awe, fondness seeping into his veins. He was so happy for Zayn.

Part of him wishes he still had something like Zayn and Niall.

It was then he noticed him standing in the doorway of the living room. His smile lit up the room, blue eyes sparkling at Harry. His pulse could be heard all around the room, sweat gathering on his forehead, mouth turning dry as he began making his way towards him. 

"Hi Harry." His voice was deep, husky and so british, just like he remembered. And Harry winced because he actually missed him. He never thought he'd see this seductive man again. It was sad how his heart rate quickened.

His eyes nervously lingered on the ripped boots covering his feet, before they traveled up to meet the captivating eyes he spent endless hours dreaming about and hours crying over. Harry wouldn't let this man take over his life again. 

He hated how he didn't believe his own words.

"How are you?" Suddenly, harsh fingers were rubbing Harry's arm, startling him enough that he jumped and flinched noticeably. Ben smiled darkly, his grip tightening on Harry's arm. Harry cursed himself for being an idiot. "Answer me, baby." 

"I-you didn't, sorry," Harry's voice was a mere whisper. He had no clue how to handle this. He started with a cough, deciding it'd be a good thing to clear his voice, maybe Ben would hear him better. Ben always hated when Harry acted shy and innocent around him, it reminded him of their age gap. Ben being thirty-two and Harry who just turned seventeen. It was so wrong, according to the bearded man. It made their relationship all the more hotter, according to Harry. "I just didn't expect to see you here, Ben."

Ben watched flatly, clearly not impressed. 

"Actually, Harry," Ben said, as if he was almost threatening the young boy. He pulled Harry close to him, their chests meeting, keeping a firm and protective hand around Harry's skinny waist. Harry could've cried on the spot; he's been craving Ben's touch. He's not so sure if he wants it anymore though. "I want to speak to you. Somewhere more private."

Harry nodded sheepishly as he kept his gaze locked to his feet and let Ben lead him through the crowd. He knew better than to fight against the older man. He didn't know what Ben was capable of or what he was going to do to him. 

Harry inwardly cursed himself for not just leaving the second he spotted Ben at Niall's fucking college party.

And he silently prayed that nothing too serious would happen to him.


	2. chapter one.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ben rapes harry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you feel uncomfortable or if the idea upsets you, you really don't need to read this chapter. I made it short so you wont miss anything if you aren't comfortable reading this. I'll try have another chapter up before tomorrow. sorry this is so bad, I've gotten no sleep because I was at a sleepover. enjoy :)

Harry fiddled nervously with the hem of his shirt, the sound of Ben's heavy breathing flooding his ears like water. He wasn't sure why Ben had brought him back to his place but he knew he had to leave soon. Ben had that angry and dark look in his eyes, which nearly always resulted in Harry getting hurt. Not that Ben purposefully hurts Harry. Ben loves him. It’s just, sometimes Harry would get in his way. He deserved what he got- Ben said so. And of course that makes sense, because why would Ben hurt Harry for no reason? 

Plus, Harry is almost certain Ben is drunk. Drunk Ben is his least favourite. 

Harry couldn’t deny the fear that filled his body when Ben’s fingers pressed into his hips, one hand slipping it’s way into his hair, tugging roughly which caused tears of agony and discourage to slide down his cheeks. He had no chance of getting away.

“Gonna teach you a lesson. You’re a bad boy, Harry,” Ben sneered, pushing Harry against the wall as he let his fingers fumble with Harry’s jeans buttons. Harry struggled against his firm grip, whimpering as more tears fell helplessly down his cheeks. He was afraid of Ben- the Ben who used to buy him pretty underwear and give him gentle kisses, the Ben who treated him like Harry was his whole world. He never thought he’d end up in this situation, especially not with this man. “A fucking slut, is all you are. You think you can cheat on me? Huh?”

“You’re crazy!” Harry yelped, feeling the stinging pain on his cheek where Ben’s rough hand just made contact with the soft skin. Ben looked furious. How dare Harry answer back, let alone call him crazy. He really needed to put this boy back in his place, so he knew who was in charge. “You broke up with me Ben! You- you left me!” 

“Shut the fuck up,” Ben snapped, dragging his own jeans down his legs, followed by his boxers. Harry just seemed to struggle more against his hold. To say this angered Ben would be an understatement. His anger led him to wrapping his hand around Harry's throat, clearly causing the young boy to struggle with his breathing, as pants left his parted lips along with chocked sobs of fear. “You’ll take me, like the fucking slut you were made for. And you’ll enjoy it.”

“Ben, stop, please,” Harry cried, feeling nothing but relief once Ben released the tight hold on his neck. Harry's head dropped onto Ben’s shoulder, shaking his head as if it would prevent what was about to happen. He was trembling from head to toe, completely exposed, wanting nothing to just leave and forget all about Ben fucking Winshit. He could try reasoning with him, even though it was almost impossible. Ben was very manipulative, always getting his way. Harry knew deep down he wasn't getting out of this. “Please, we can work it out. Anything- just, please not this, Ben.”

But Ben ignored Harry’s pleas, too annoyed to even consider what Harry was saying. 

And although Harry continued to cry and squirm against him, he still managed to push himself inside of Harry’s tight rim. A loud deep moan vibrated through his chest as his cock was enveloped in the young boy's tight entrance, feeling even more turned on from the sobs ripping through Harry's pretty pink lips. He wondered if he could get a blowjob after this. Without another thought, he began to roughly thrust inside of Harry, who screamed in agony at the feeling of being ripped apart. 

Harry had given up begging and fighting against Ben, the damage was already done. With each thrust he was sent into another stream of tears, a new fit of torture, his own personal hell. 

Harry remained lifeless, even when Ben pulled out and pushed Harry to his knees, forcing his cock through his lips. Ben groaned in pure bliss, while Harry was oh so tempted to bite down on his dick. He deserved all the pain he ever made Harry witness. 

"You look like such a pretty little slut, baby," Ben continued fucking his mouth with absolute no shame. His eyes rolled back in extacy. Harry knew he was close. "Look like a girl, baby. You're my little slut, my toy. So pretty on your knees for me."

Harry refused to look at the monster, even when Ben left him lying on the floor, his face covered in cum. Ben left the room, telling him to “Get his worthless ass out,” and that “he doesn’t want to waste more time on some stupid slut.” Harry happily obliged.

So Harry did exactly what he said, forever the submissive. 

He was too pained to speak, too pained to cry, too pained to care. 

And then reality came back to him, washing over him like a wave. His eyes filled with unshed tears, the ghost of the memories glistening in the depths of his orbs, where they'll remain for as long as he lived.

He had just been raped by the love of his life. 

Harry knew at that moment that his life would never return to normal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comment your oppinion and leave kudos if you liked it.x


	3. chapter two.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ziall interfere on louis' love life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this wasn't updated in ages but I just finished a week of exams and I was so exhausted. I hope you understand. I tried make it a little longer than usual but I'm sorry again, it was a bit boring. I was introducing Louis. I hope you enjoy it :) I'll try have the next update up soon and I promise it will be a bit more exciting. Harry and Louis meet in the next chapter. This chapter is after Harry was raped, but Zayn doesn't know about it.

When it starts Louis' in his bedroom, curled up on a double bed. It's a two star kind of place; cracks in the walls, curtains covered in mold, the clinging smell of camphor attaching itself after the first few minutes of your stay. The television stuttered as the 23 year old flicked through the channels, colours blending together. A loud buzzing noise came off the TV, reminding Louis that he really need to by a new one. Maybe from this century instead of the stone age. Harry shivered when he realized that the room had lost all it's heating several minutes ago. The electricity bill probably wasn't paid, again.

It's hard living in a flat that nobody gives a shit about. 

Still, he hears it happen; the loud bangs and crashes coming from down the hall, meaning one thing. Niall and his boy-toy (not really, Louis' just sour he doesn't have a boyfriend) Zayn have returned. 

Honestly, it's like ever since they started meeting up for these shitty dates, they haven't stopped having sex. Louis is so sick of walking in on the two dry humping on his couch. You'd think they were fifteen, with how horny they are. 

Louis had a narrow, oblong face with high cheekbones and a slightly pointed chin. His eyes were a deep shade of blue, his eyebrows were shaped into a deceivingly perfect arch that followed the curve of his eye. He kept his mouth shut in a firm thin, straight line, and his hair -naturally light brown in colour- was often messy, sometimes pushed into a quiff, otherwise hidden under a beanie. Louis sure loved his beanies.   
Louis' body was painted in ink and decorated with piercings, his frame petite but built with strong muscles. He was made up courage and sass.

Louis had met Niall at the age of 17 after he left home and moved to London. People claim his parents disowned him, but Niall knew that wasn't true. Louis' parents had actually loved him very much, the thing is, the feeling was never mutual. Louis despised his parents, claiming they screwed up his life after getting a divorce when he was aged 6. His mom re-married, and then came the birth of Charlotte, Felicite, Daisy and Phoebe who were twins. 

That marriage failed, too, according to the endless tears Louis heard from Lottie on the phone. The girls were devastated when Louis packed his things and left without warning. Jay, their mom, masked her pain with alcohol. Louis felt awful, guilt constantly on his mind at the thought of the girls alone with an alcoholic with a father who only stopped by whenever he pleased. 

But, Jay is much happier in her new marriage with a man called Dan, Fizzy told him. She hasn't drank in almost a year. Louis thinks that's because she just gave birth to more twins.

Louis was a terrifying person. Well, to people who don't know him. Nobody dared stand up to the boy or even try tell him what to do, you just don't tell Louis Tomlinson what to do. The last time someone did, they ended up in hospital with four broken ribs and a concussion. That was the result you got when you tell a 'bad boy' to leave your shop.

Louis was nearly always mad, was the thing. He was right about his parents screwing up his life; the amount of rage built inside the boy was taking out on the people around him, even Niall. But Niall has stood by him through thick and thin. He's seen him at his lowest point, letting it get to the point he had to spoon Louis as he sobbed into his pillow. The ghost of his tears remain as one of Niall's most tragic memories.

Louis' thoughts were interrupted when the door to his room flung open, in walking Niall and Zayn, their hands intertwined. Both of their cheeks were flushed and their hairs a tangled mess, lips puffy. They were clearly in the middle of something, so the only question on Louis' mind was 'why the fuck are they in my room?' 

"Oh, no no no," Louis jumped to his feet and raced over to the couple, pushing them out of his room. His attempts were a failure, as they remained in his doorway, Zayn with an amused smile and Niall in hysterics laughing. "If you think I'm joining ye for a threesome, ye are fucking mental, because-"

"Louis!" Niall laughed, a light shade of pink decorating his cheeks. "We aren't asking you to join us, don't be stupid!"

Zayn chuckled and stroked his arm softly, which, no thanks. They aren't close enough for it to be okay for Zayn to touch him. But even if Zayn alone wanted to hook up with him, Louis wouldn't turn him down. The boy was fucking sculpted by God himself. It really wasn't fair. "Sorry, babes. Maybe another time." He winked and Louis laughed as Niall feigned disgust, because he knew Niall thought he was hot. 

"It's alright, wasn't interested anyway," Louis answered, eyeing them curiously. Especially Niall, who looked nervous. "So what the fuck do ye want?" 

"When will you start dating, Louis?" Oh boy. This again. "And I mean like real dating, not meaningless sex with every fit boy you see."

"Niall," Louis whined, walking back to his bed and sitting himself where he was previously snuggled into his pillows. He turned the TV off with the click of a remote, and gestured for Zayn and Niall to take a seat on the edge of his bed. "Listen, I appreciate your concern and everything, but I'm 23! I'm supposed to be having sex with every fit boy I see, not be in some lovey dovey relationship like you bunch of twats."

Niall scoffed, Zayn wrapping an arm around his waist and pressing a kiss to the side of his head. Louis sighed, "Look, I'm sorry. I'm just not ready to be in a relationship. I don't believe in that shit."

"You don't know that, mate," Zayn spoke kindly, being careful not to judge Louis' decisions. Zayn knew some about Louis' idea of love because of Niall, and he was so happy he didn't have the same views. "My best mate, Harry, just got out of a relationship-"

"No way!" Niall gushed, his jaw dropping to the floor and Louis laughed. He wishes he could have a camera for every time Niall pulls a stupid face. "Harry and Ben broke up? Why? Harry loved him."

"Niall, please. I'm so happy they did. Ben was such a creep," Zayn shivered, the thought of a thirty odd year old man manipulating his little Harry just disgusted him. "And he treated Harry like shit. Harry was too blind to see it, because it was his first relationship."

"I'm sorry Zee. Harry must be crushed."

"Yeah, he is," Zayn's voice was a mere whisper. He was clearly upset for his friend. Louis was intrigued. He wanted to know more about this so called Harry and Ben relationship. "Which is why, I think it would be a great idea if you and Harry went on a date."

"What? No way, mate, sorry," Louis was quick to say and he watched as the smile dropped off of Zayn and Niall's faces, "guys, I'm sorry. But do you really think this Harry guy would want to go out with me, when he's just been dumped?"

"Exactly my fear," Zayn said "I think it would be a great idea to set you up on a blind date."

And as Louis listened to Zayn and Niall plan his date with the mysterious boy (who he's been promised is nowhere near ugly), he couldn't help but to feel excited.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave a comment or kudos if you liked it.x follow me on twitter @harrys_chapel.


	4. chapter three.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis and Harry meet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so so sorry guys. I hope you understand that March was definitely the shittest and worst month ever. From exams, to Zayn leaving, to me being sick. I hope you can understand. I would've updated yesterday but I was fighting with my friend and I just felt like utter crap so. I promise I'm starting the next chapter tomorrow and it will have lots of fluff, just to make up for this shitty chapter. I'm sorry, thank you for all the lovely comments and kudos, keep them coming if you like it.x

Louis isn’t sure why he ever agreed to do this. A blind date, seriously? He feels so pathetic. He doesn’t need any help with his love life, especially from Niall fucking Horan. Heck, he doesn’t even need a love life. He’s happy being single, always has been, and most likely always will be. 

But then again, when was the last time he went on a date and actually enjoyed it? Never. That tiny part of him was a bit excited. Niall had said they picked a cute guy, too. So it shouldn’t be so bad. 

Another downfall was that the poor guy doesn’t even know Zayn is sending him on a date. Niall and Zayn, the stupid twats, told the boy they’d be collecting him from the library he works at and then they’d go to a meal together. Poor lad probably thought he’d be third wheeling. It’s better than a short, tattooed, rude man showing up, that’s for sure. 

He’s driving in the car beside Zayn, which is a little bit awkward because he’s never been with Zayn without Niall. Zayn keeps on turning up the music (some AC/DC shit, which is not setting Louis’ nerves well) and singing along to the song, and God does he have an absolutely incredible voice. He’s not sure what to do so he just sits there like an idiot, drumming him fingers against his legs. 

Around ten minutes into the drive they pull up in front of a worn, old brick building. Louis’ going to throw up.

“You ready mate?” 

“Nope, don’t think I’ll ever be,” Louis chuckles, unbuckling his belt as he notices Zayn is already getting out of the car. “Might as well get it over with.”

“That’s the spirit, c’mon.” Zayn leads him through the front door. The library is nicer on the inside, already Louis can see shelves upon shelves of books stacked in different categories; fiction, horror, romance, etc. He would’ve loved this place when he was a teenager. He’s kind of in awe. He can definitely picture himself coming back here. 

They continue on their walk and that’s when Louis spots a group of children, all excitedly giggling and clapping, in a circle. They’re gathered around a boy who is sat on a small wooden chair, looking just as excited as the children as he reads them a story. He’s all curls and dimples, just Louis’ type- and now he really doesn’t want to go on some shit blind date with one of Zayn’s mates. 

He wants the pretty boy. He wants to wake up every morning with this cutie snuggled into his side. He wants to stay up late watching movies and whispering sweet nothings to each other. He wants to spoil this boy with presents and kisses. He wants to fuck this boy into oblivion, until he’s a sobbing mess. He wants everything with this boy- everything he’s never wanted with another person.

“So,” he coughed, clearing his voice. He nudged Zayn and pointed to the curly boy and asked, “Who’s he?”

“Your date,” Zayn smirked, obviously not surprised that Louis seems in awe of Harry already. “Cute, isn’t he?”

“Um yeah, very cute.” Too cute, even. He’ll never want to go out with someone like me, Louis couldn’t help but think. 

Zayn started making his way over to him, Louis awkwardly trailing behind. The boy seemed to have noticed Zayn because his face lit up as he waved at the tanned boy, obviously not seeing Little Louis behind him. 

“Zaynee, hey! I’m almost done, two secs,” he had a beautiful voice, Louis thought. Raspy, deep, nothing Louis would have thought a boy this cute would have, but he loves it nevertheless. The boy turned his attention back to the children, suddenly feigning sadness as he said “I’m so sorry guys! I’m afraid it’s time for me to go home, so we’ll continue this another day!”

Louis admired how good he was with children and watched as he kept giving some gentle hugs and waving goodbye to the group. The kids clearly adored him, too. Louis can see him as a great father some day and he hasn’t even spoken to him yet. Jesus Christ, Louis doesn’t even know his fucking name.   
He finally got out of the kids grips with a final laugh, jogging over to where Zayn and Louis remained standing. “Sorry about that Zayn, I promised Lux I’d read her a story and then a whole load of them showed up, I could hardly say no- Oh,” he stopped mid-rant as his eyes landed on Louis for the first time, clearly shocked and probably very confused. “oops, um, you aren’t Niall.”

“Hi,” Louis breathed a laugh, stepping forward with his hand out for the boy to shake, which he did reluctantly after eyeing Zayn for a second. “I’m Louis Tomlinson.”

“Harry Styles, nice to meet you mate,” he smiled softly, still confused as to why this so called Louis Tomlinson showed up with his best friend out of nowhere. “So, where’s Niall? And where are we heading?”

Now was time for the awkward part. 

“Actually H, Ni’s not coming...” Zayn was nervous, it was evident on how he couldn’t hold eye contact with Harry and how he failed to stand still. A hand reached up to scratch the back of his head as he finally looked at Harry, and said “Instead, you’re going to go on a date with Louis. Um, surprise?”

“Can I talk to you, Zayn? In private, please.”

Zayn shot Louis an apologetic look before following Harry, who had already stormed off behind a further shelf. Louis didn’t mind if he was honest, he had expected Harry to act like this. Louis would too if he was being forced on a date with a complete randomer. 

After about ten minutes, Zayn returned with a blushing Harry who accepted the date. Zayn was quick to drive them to a small, local cafe, leaving them with a twenty pound note to allow them to get whatever they wanted. Which was a nice gesture, sure. But Louis isn’t a fourteen year old on his first date nor is he poor, he can buy his own food, thanks. Harry had clearly been reluctant to let Zayn leave, but after they ordered their food the silence seemed to decrease, and both boys seemed to be enjoying one another’s presence as they settled on easy conversation.

“So, tell me Harry, any siblings?” Louis asked as he took a sip of his coffee. Harry had ordered hot chocolate, with a small muffin for them to share. Louis hadn’t thought this boy could get any cuter yet Harry hasn’t failed to stop surprising him.

“Yes, an older sister, Gemma. What about you?”

“There’s too much to count, honestly,” Louis laughed. “Mom’s been popping them out since Lottie was born!”

“Heyyy, that’s not fair,” Harry giggled, hiding his smile behind his mug. “Tell me!”

“Okay, fine,” Louis paused taking another second to add drama. Also, it was funny to see how impatient Harry was. “I’ve six, not counting a step sister.”

“Wow, that’s incredible. Can I meet them sometime?”

Louis would be lying if he said his heart didn’t flutter at that. Harry wanted to meet his sisters, unlike any of the other people he’s dated. “Sure, that’d be great. They’d love you, especially your hair.” This earned him another giggle. 

“What age are you? If you don’t mind me asking. You just seem so young, innocent, even.”

“Seventeen,” Harry spoke softly, slurping another sip of his hot chocolate. “You?”

“Twenty-three.”

“Ohh, an older man. Just what I like,” Harry winked playfully making Louis snort. He’s such a dork. “You could be, like, my sugar daddy.”

After that the two couldn’t stop laughing and telling jokes, teasing each other. They were earning strange looks from other people- not that they cared, it was just them at this time. Although the night wasn’t been treated in a romantic way, Louis could definitely see this happening with Harry again. When he voiced his opinion, Harry was full on board with the idea. They exchanged numbers, promising to arrange another date in the next week. 

Harry had Zayn collect him, pressing a soft kiss to Louis’ cheek before he got in the car. He waved shyly, a blush tinting his cheeks as they drove away, leaving Louis to ponder on what this boy has done to him.

He was completely smitten after just one night with the beautiful Harry Styles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> once again, I'm very sorry.x
> 
> you can find me on twitter and tumblr if you want to talk/know more about the story.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> louis has planned another date with harry and niall isn't so pleased about louis' so called list.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay I just have to say a massive apology for not updating in over two months. It's because of school and I just finished my junior cert so I've been so busy and exhausted. But it's finally summer so you can expect more frequent updates :)) I'll start writing the next chapter as soon as possible seeing as though this one was slightly boring, but I have great plans for a very fluffy larry date. Enjoy.xx

Harry had been a bit apprehensive to accept Louis’ offer of a movie date at his house. It had been just a week after their first date, and although not meeting up since then, the two had been texting almost every hour possible. Harry had found himself staying awake past 2am talking to this pretty boy covered in tattoos. Harry had never been this hooked on a person so quickly, not even Ben.

Which brings back the tragic memories of what happened less than a month ago. Louis would never want to date a person who was recently in a relationship with someone twice his age, let alone raped. People don’t like dating damaged people. 

But, Harry’s selfish. So he’s going to continue to talk to Louis Tomlinson and pretend that everything in his life is okay. 

-

“I’m in love with him. There. I said it.”

“Louis,” Niall laughed. “You barely know the kid. It’s been a week.”

Louis threw a glare Niall’s way and decided to ignore him. He didn’t know shit about his and Harry’s relationship. Louis knows Harry is perfect for him- well, maybe he is a bit over his head. But he hasn’t felt this way about anyone, like, ever. 

So it’s a pretty big deal for him. 

Niall must have noticed the sulk he caused on Louis’ face, because his face had a sympathetic look on it as he reached over and gave Louis’ shoulder a gentle squeeze. Louis didn’t know why he did it, if he was honest. Niall was the one who upset him, so why’s he taking it back now? Naturally Louis did the only logical thing any person would do and shrugged Niall's hand off. 

"Mate, I'm sorry," Niall sighed. "I just, I don't want you to hurt Harry."

The silence seemed endless.

Niall nervously glanced towards Louis, who looked as though he had just been punched. 

"Harry's a sweet kid. Really innocent, too. He's just been dumped-"

"Wait," Louis laughed, completely humourless. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. "So you think I'd hurt him too?"

"You don't have the best history with relationships, mate."

Louis is beyond pissed at this point. Sure, Niall had a point. He was well known for his one night stands but that's not what he wants from Harry. Like he said before, Harry seemed perfect for him already. 

"I'll have you know, Niall Horan, that I have already arranged another date with that angel. You have no business telling me anything about my relationship with him-"

"I helped set you two up," Niall interrupted, looking quite pissed himself. "You should be thanking me, Louis Tomlinson, not fighting me."

Another round of silence between the two fueled boys. 

"Fair enough, Niall Horan, but have you quite finished? I've already told ya, you don't understand mine and Harry's connection," wow, he sounds stupid. He could tell Niall was thinking the same as he tried not to laugh, if his flushed cheeks and how he was holding back a smirk said anything. "He is my soulmate."

"Okay okay, Louis Tomlinson, can we stop calling each other our full names now. Please?" They both laughed. The room was finally removed from their frustration. Niall relaxed back into the couch, taking a full swig from his can of beer. "So, what's so special about our dear Harry Styles?"

Louis shrugged, sheepishly biting his lower lip. "He's on my list."

"Your list?" Niall asked, perching himself up once again. He seemed genuinely confused, as if it weren't the most obvious thing ever, Louis thought. "What are you on about now?"

"My list of people I want to shag."

Niall couldn't help it. He burst out laughing, but stopped once he saw how serious Louis was. 

He actually has a freaking list of people he wants to shag. 

It's unbelieveable, really. Just two minutes ago he was going on about how perfect him and Harry were. Now he has a whole list of people who are supposedly perfect for him. Probably perfect for him to fuck, if Niall was honest.

"Louis, you can't be serious! This is what I was talking about when I said I don't want you fucking hurting the kid!" There Louis goes, laughing again. You would swear he's begging Niall to punch him. "Fuck you! You have no respect for anyone-"

"Hey, woah, you've gotten it all wrong, Ni!" Louis stood up as Niall did, trying to calm the boy. He stopped and raised an eyebrow, signaling him to continue. "Harry's at the top of the list."

"So?" Niall was outraged. "That makes no difference! You still have one!"

"Harry's the only one on the freaking list!"

Wait, what?

"Explain, please," Niall gritted out between his teeth. Sitting back down. "It better be good or I'm telling Zayn."

"I've had the list for ages, since I was about fifteen, probably. I made it and I guess I just stuck to it," Louis sat beside Niall, not daring to touch him, but giving him an apologetic smile. "Nobody important has ever made the list. Until Harry.He's the only one I know I would want to contact after. I know I should have told you, it's just private to me, I suppose."

"So, what, you write his name done and cross it off once you fuck him?" Louis didn't like him making it sound like Harry was just a piece of dirt, thrown aside once he was used. Harry is special to him. "That's pretty pointless."

"It's a challenge to me, Ni," Louis said, sinking into the couch. He didn't want Niall to overreact again. "I have to shag them within three months or they're off my list. I stop all contact. Everything. Gone out of my life for good."

"I'll tell you what Tommo," Niall turned to Louis, a gentle smirk covering his lips. Good thing he wasn't pissed. "I won't tell Zayn, for the sake of you not being killed." Louis laughed, but knew he was completely serious. Zayn would legitimately kill him if he found out what he planned to do to his supposedly very innocent friend. "I'll make a deal with you. If you get to sleep with Harry within the three months, I'll pay you one hundred pounds and never interfere with your love life again."

"Interesting. Keep going, you have my attention."

"But if you don't, you stop with Harry all together. Lay him off easily. Just stop all contact with him, okay? Deal or no deal?"

Louis wasn't sure as to why Niall was so keen on ending what him and Harry had just started, seeing as though he set them up? He knew one thing for sure though, and that is that he can get Harry in his bed, no matter what Niall thinks. 

"Deal."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comment if you liked it. As usual you can find me on twitter/tumblr if you want to talk :) byyyyeee.x


	6. chapter five.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis manages to scare Harry on their second date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two updates in a row, aren't I great?? I don't know if I'm happy with how this turned out though, but the next chapter should be interesting. I hope you enjoy this :) .x

It was nine o'clock and Harry was stood in the doorway of Louis' home waiting for the older man to answer the damn door, when he began to wonder,  _what if he got the address wrong and a complete stranger will answer?_  Shit, now was not the time to start panicking. But,  _what if Louis only invited me here because he wants to have sex with me, just like Ben?_ Harry was about to turn around and run back to Zayn's car, who of course had dropped Harry off and promised he wouldn't leave until after ten minutes in case Harry came back, when the door swung open revealing Louis.  **  
**

 

When Harry saw the boy, who was dressed in simple sweats and a nice designer top with the biggest grin on his face, he was annoyed at himself that he had ever doubted him.

 

Of course Louis wouldn't use him for sex. 

 

Louis was sweet and kind and caring and he genuinely laughed at Harry's jokes, which is a bonus. He texted Harry every morning and gave him the cutest goodnight message right before he fell asleep, telling him several times a day how cute and adorable he found Harry.

 

"Hello, Harry," Louis smiled, looking at Harry's atire. Harry's light blush matched the light pink sweater that was swallowing him up, making him seem smaller than he was. His legs were covered with a pair of leggings and Louis nearly died on the spot. He didnt think Harry could get any cuter and he shows up in legging. "You look beautiful, please come in."

 

Louis led Harry into the sitting room and to the couch. "I'll be back in two minutes darling, I'm just grabbing a few blankets and popcorn." Harry nodded, his blush darkening at the pet name. Louis noticed, of course, and made a mental note to call Harry every cute name under the sun.

 

When Louis returned Harry was smiling shyly up at him. He handed Harry the bowl of popcorn and went to put the movie in the DVD player. "I hope you don't mind," he chuckled, already knowing Harry wont be too happy when he finds out what movie he picked. "I wanted to watch something scary, so I choose The Woman In Black."

 

Harry paled almost immediately, muttering a quite "n-no, that's perfect." He hated horror films. He couldn't even watch the trailer to this movie, how was he supposed to watch it?! Not wanting Louis to think he was childish, considering he was only 17 and Louis was a good few years older, he didn't want to make Louis see him as a baby. So he sucked up his fear.

 

Louis sat at the edge of the couch, signalling Harry to come cuddle up to him. "C'mon love, I don't bite." Harry happily obliged, resting his head on Louis' covered chest and sighing in content when the tattooed boy wrapped an arm around him. Louis reached down and picked up one of the blankets, a soft white one, and pulled it over him and Harry. It immediately added to the moment, making it seem as the two were protected. Which was all Harry wanted. 

 

It was never like this with Ben. He never made Harry feel protected. They nevereven cuddled so this was quite strange for Harry. Naturally he loved it. Harry was a very cuddly person. Zayn is constantly complaining about it, but Harry knows he secretly loves cuddles too.

 

Of course, Harry jumped at nearly everything. But it wasn't as bad as he expected. He was actually enjoying it in a weird way. 

 

It was halfway through the movie when Harry really started to freak out. Louis noticed straight away and started rubbing a soothing hand up and down Harry's back. He was whispering soothing things into the scared boys ear, but clearly it wasn't having much of an affect on him. Harry began whimpering in fright, his hands trembling. But what concerned Louis the most was the tears building in his eyes. So he turned the movie off right away and tried comforting Harry.

 

He lifted Harry up from his armpits and spun him around and onto his lap so that he was met with the tearful eyes. He felt awful, he didn't think Harry would get this scared. "Louis, please turn it off. I don't like it." His voice sounded thick and sad, leaving Louis even more heartbroken. "I'm scared Louis. I really don't like it."

 

"Shh, baby. It's okay, it's off," Louis cooed, pressing a gentle kiss to Harry's forehead. The boy hiccuped, wrapping his arms around Louis' waist and pressing his tear stained face into the crook of Louis' neck. "C'mon, love. You can stay with me tonight. I'll keep you safe."

 

After a few minutes of comforting Harry and reducing his tears into hiccups, Louis carried him bridal style up the stairs and placed him gently on his bed. He turned away as Harry chaged out of his clothes and into the pyjamas Louis left him. He climbed in beside him after changing himself, sending a reasurring smile Harry's way. He decided to text Niall, presuming he was with Zayn. He told him the situation and said he'd bring Harry home tomorrow. He decided to leave a lamp on, not wanting to frighten Harry even more.

 

Louis turned to the boy, who smiled shyly. "M'sorry I ruined the movie." He was so precious. Louis wanted nothing more than to protect the boy forever. Screw Niall, no matter how these three months turn out, he's still going to date this beautiful creature.

 

"Baby, no. I should apologise for making you watch it," Louis lowered his voice to a whisper. He turned on his side and pulled Harry close to him, so that he was spooning the younger boy. "Is this okay?" He asked, recieving a gentle nod from Harry, which was all the comformation he needed to intertwine their legs and pressing one last gentle kiss on his curls. "Goodnight, baby. I'll keep you safe."

 

"Thank you. Goodnight, Louis." He yawned. Less than five minutes later soft snores were escaping his mouth. Louis was glad he managed to get him to calm down. He slowly but surely started to drift off himself.

 

But Louis had no clue his own sleep would be interrupted during the night.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, you can find me on tumblr and twitter. Comment and leave a kudos if you liked it, it encourages me to update sooner.x


	7. chapter six.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> harry awakes over a very vivid nightmare and turns to louis for comfort

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Third update in a row! It proves how much I don't do anything during summer :) I just want to make it clear that nobody knows about what Ben did to Harry and he's trying to pretend like it never happened, but his dreams aren't letting him escape it. I hope you enjoy it.x

_“Shut the fuck up,” Ben snapped, dragging his own jeans down his legs, followed by his boxers. Harry just seemed to struggle more against his hold. To say this angered Ben would be an understatement. His anger led him to wrapping his hand around Harry's throat, clearly causing the young boy to struggle with his breathing, as pants left his parted lips along with chocked sobs of fear. “You’ll take me, like the fucking slut you were made for. And you’ll enjoy it.”_

 

_“Ben, stop, please,” Harry cried._

 

_Suddenly, Ben's features changed, his eyes darkening as he stared down at Harry. "I'll end you Harry. I'll kill your pretty boyfriend, too"  Harry continued to cry, pleading for Ben to leave him alone. He didn't want it he didn't want it he didn't want it he didn't want it he didn't want it- "He doesn't even like you Harry. You're just a slut to him. A toy. It's all you'll ever be seen as, to everyone. Bet Zayn is just waiting to have his way with you, too."_

 

_"Please, s-stop, I don't want this."_

 

_"You'll take what you were made for, slut."_

 

Harry awoke with a jolt, his body glistening in sweat and face covered in tears. He couldn't hold back the gut wrenching sob that escaped his chapped lips. The dream seemed so realistic. They've been happening nearly every night, he was foolish to even think the nightmares could be stopped. He turned to face Louis, who was fast asleep. He debated whether or not he should just fight through his fears and cry himself to sleep, like every other night this entire month. But there was something about this nightmare, how Ben had mentioned Zayn and Louis in such an awful way. It really scared him.  _  
_

 

So, he did the only thing he never thought he would resolve to, and tried to wake Louis.

 

"Louis," Harry's voice was cracked and sad, as tears continued to cascade down his cheeks like an endless waterfall. He just needed the comfort that he was safe and protected, and that Louis didn't just see him as a sex toy. He began to shake the punk boy's shoulders, desperately trying to get a reaction from him. Anything to show that he cared about Harry. "Please, L-Louis. Please wake up."

 

His sobs were growing louder by the second, he kept on calling Louis' name and pleading for him to wake up. He was tempted to get out of the bed and go home when he noticed Louis beginning to stir. 

 

"Louis, p-please, Louis," he whimpered, hugging his knees to his chest and hiding his face in them. Sobs racked his body and he was trembling by the time Louis finally woke up fully. "I-I didn't want it, Louis, I promise. I really did-didn't want i-it."

 

"Harry? What's going on? What- why are you crying?" Louis asked, panicking at the sight of Harry's small frame trembling in fear. Shit, shit,  _shit._ The movie must have really scared him. Shit this was his fault. "Harry, love, are you scared? I promise nothing will get you."

 

He inched his way closer to the crying boy, not wanting to startle him even more. Somehow, he didn't think it was possible to be this torn up over a movie. When Harry glanced up at him, his red rimmed eyes showed nothing but horror and sorrow, something nothing but real trauma could do to a person. The movie wasn't scary enough for that. 

 

He wrapped his arms around Harry and engulfed him in a gentle embrace, whispering comforting words into his ear. This seemed to only set him off more, though. The distraught boy relaxed into Louis' hug, but he kept whimpering, mumbling  _'I didn't want it'_ over and over again. Which confused Louis even more, because what was he on about? 

 

He wanted to text Niall and ask him if he knew anything about Harry having some type of night terrors, like what he saw on a recent episode of  _Embarrassing Bodies_. But when he moved slightly to reach for his phone, Harry began wailing hysterically. 

 

"No!" Harry cried. "Please, don't let go of me, Louis! Don't let him get me! Please!"

 

"Baby, it's okay. Shh, that's it, I'm not going anywhere. You're safe, I'm here, I'll protect you. I promise, baby, I promise." Louis said softly, twirling his fingers through Harry's soft curls. Normally it would be comforting, but the memories of the nightmare were overwhelming. Harry's breathing was heavy and his eyes were red, his body trembling from each broken sob that escaped his lips. He pushed the ugly thoughts from his head and thought of Louis. Beautiful, charming and funny Louis who smelled of love and smiled brighter than the sun. Louis would keep him safe.

 

He promised.

 

That's how they spent their night; Louis holding a weeping Harry in his arms, whispering sweet nothings into his ear and promising time and time again that he'll always be here to keep Harry safe. Every few minutes he'd press a gentle kiss either on Harry's cheeks, forehead, neck, hair or all of the above. He listed all the things he liked about Harry. It was clear that Harry as either beyond the point of being so frightened that he was registering what Louis was saying or he was trapped in his own world, either way he was too dazed to even slightly blush at Louis' pet names.

 

Eventually, Harry wore himself out and he fell asleep with his head on Louis' shoulder, breathing heavily through his bitten lips. His stained cheeks seemed as though they would never return to their natural colour. Louis was left with the traumatic experience. He knew he'd have to ask Harry a hell of a lot of questions in the morning, and Harry would probably not want to answer a single one. 

 

But, one question remained in Louis' head as he lay awake watching the sun rise, 

 

_what the fuck didn't Harry want?_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tell me what you think like always. I just want to say a huge thank you for all of the kudos and lovely comments I'm getting, they mean so much to me.x


	8. chapter seven.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis tells Ziall that he thinks somethings wrong with Harry and Harry freaks out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyy another update yayyy :) I know it isn't that long or anything, but I am working on something else rn and I want it to be really good. Plus, this was kind of a filler seeing as though I had really bad writers block. Drama is going to start soon though. I'm introducing Liam in one of the next chapter so I'm excited for that. I hope you enjoy.xx

Harry awoke the next morning to sunlight beaming through the windows and the sound of birds chirping. It would have been lovely, if he wasn't alone.  _Louis probably just went to shower or something,_ he thought, pushing back the idea that maybe he freaked Louis out last night. Oh God, maybe his nightmare scared him off and Louis wont want to see him anymore. He became hopeful when his nose picked up on the scent of eggs and sausages drifting through Louis' house. He decided to ignore the idea that Louis didn't like him and dragged himself out of bed, hurrying downstairs.

 

As he approached the kitchen the soft mumble of voices were heard, the unmistakable sound of Zayn's thick accent filling his ears.  _But why would Zayn be here?_

 

"It was weird mate," Louis spoke clearly, but hushed. Harry got the impression he wasn't meant to be hearing this conversation. So, naturally, he stood outside with his ear pressed to the wooden door so that he could hear everything they were saying clearly. "He kept begging me to keep 'him' away from him. Like, what does that even mean?"

 

"Z, babe, has Harry ever had nightmares around you?" The sound of Niall's voice shocked Harry, but what upset him was that Louis had clearly told his friend and Harry's about his nightmare.

 

"No, I mean. He's never- I 'aven't had him round my place in a while, because of Ni," Zayn said. Harry didn't need to be in the room to know that he was fidgeting, bottom lip pulled between his teeth. Harry almost feels bad for not telling Zayn about what happened. He can't, though. He can't tell anyone. They'll see him as an easy whore. "Do you think that something happened?"

 

"People don't get that scared for nothing." Louis sighed. 

 

Harry needed to vomit. 

They were getting suspicious.

 

He ran from his place beside the door, obviously not as quiet as he had hoped, as he could hear the sound of Louis cursing and Zayn calling his name. He ran across the narrow hall and into the bathroom, making it just in time as he began gagging into the toilet. Tears streamed down his face as he threw up the contents in his stomach, the thought of the boys and Louis finding up lingering in his mind, making him gag more. 

 

When there was nothing left in his stomach, Harry was still gagging, coughing and sobbing on each retch, clutching the sides of the toilet. There was a gentle tap on the door, and Louis' voice floated through it, concerned and anxious.

 

“Harry, are you alright?

 

"N-No, please," he sobbed, wiping his mouth and turning to face Louis with tears cascading down his flushed cheeks. He felt another wave of nausea and he turned to empty the bile into the toilet, leaving a horrific taste in his mouth. "Get Zayn, please."

 

He was still on his knees, perched over the toilet, his eyes meeting Louis' as the older boy knelt on the cod tiled floor beside him. "Don't look-please, get Zayn."

 

He realized with disgust how awful he must look. If he had doubts of Louis no wanting to see him again after a meer nightmare, what would he think of him now. Louis' arms slowly wrapped around his waist, pulling him into his lap. He released a dry sob, beginning to protest weakly. Louis shushed him an gently rocked him. 

 

Harry opened his eyes again, starting to panick, when Louis moved to stand up. "Shh, sweetheart. I'm just going to get a cloth to clean you up a bit." His eyes reached Louis', expecting to see a mixture of pity or disgust, but there was only love. 

 

Harry let Louis clean him off by wiping his face and letting him borrow one of his spare toothbrushes, to clear him of the vile smell and feeling of being dirty. Harry had whimpered and cringed in disgust but Louis comforted him with soothing sounds, pressing gentle kisses around Harry's face.

 

 

Harry allowed Louis to carefully carry him back into the bedroom. Louis placed him softly on the matress, jumping in after him. Harry collapsed against him, all anger replaced with sorrow. Louis wrapped him up in his arms, tight like he liked. Almost as if he was protecting him from Ben, without even realising it. 

 

"What happend to you, baby boy?" Louis asked softly, fingertips running up and down the smooth skin of Harry's arms. "You can't just have me cuddle you and think whatever it is will go away. Whatever has gotten you so scared that you're having nightmares and throwing up, you have to deal with it. One way or another. I'll be here for you, angel, but you're going to have to tell me what's bugging you, alright?"

 

Harry shook his head quickly, whimpering. "No. No.  _No._  Please don't force me to tell you, Louis.  _Please._ " 

 

Louis sighed, pressing a kiss into Harry's curls. Harry may not want to tell him anything yet, but Louis is eager to find out what has traumatised this beautiful boy. 

 

And he's going to find out. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, my tumblr and twitter are linked so find me there if you want to talk :) comment or leave a kudos if you liked it.x


	9. chapter eight.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> louis gets surprised and things get slightly intimate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hellloooo i apologise to the people in the comments that I said the next chapter would be up soon, I've gotten carried away with sleepovers and visting places so I haven't had the time to update. I am also writing a stockholm syndrome one shot at the moment so I'll link that when it's finished in case any of you are interested. I tried to make this longer than usual. I hope you enjoy it :)

Three weeks had passed since the dreaded nightmare night, and as much as Louis wants to confront Harry about it, he wouldn't dare. If Harry wants to tell him about it, he will. Louis' not going to pressure the poor boy, no matter how much he wants to know what caused Harry to be that terrfied. But he knows Zayn has been.

 

Harry and Louis have gotten closer and closer as the ays pass, going on simple dates like picnics and seeing movies at the cinema, they're soon-to-be-boyfriends at the rate they're going at. Louis can nearly gaurantee that him and Harry will sleep together by the time the three months are up, making Niall loose the bet and Louis can continue to see the shy boy wit the curls who is slowly but surely stealing his heart.

 

He's got Harry curled up over his chest as he scrolls through instragram. "You up for going out, babe?"

 

"Sure," Harry yawns, sitting up from his spot and stretching. Louis wants to hit himself for breaking up their cuddling session, but he didn't really want Harry falling asleep like the last time they hung out. They had been watching  _Bambi,_ one of Harry's favourites, and Harry had fallen asleep curled into Louis' side, soft gentle snores escaping his parted lips. Louis thought it was the cutest thing and he had managed to take several photos, showing them to the blushing boy when he awoke. "I'll just go get changed."

 

It's when Harry is rooting through his drawers, pulling out piles of tops and trying to match one with his white jeans he's planning on changing into, that Louis notices a pair of faded pink lace panties tumbling out with the yellow button up Harry picked out. Harry seemed to spot his mistake straight away as his eyes widen with the familiar flush appearing on his cheeks. 

 

"Holy shit, Haz," Louis sputters out, shocked, after seconds of staring at the lace and coming to realise that yes, they are in fact a cute pair of girls knickers.  _Harry's cute pair of girls knickers._ "Are those yours?"

 

"I-I-" Harry stuttered, clearly panicked. Louis was, too, but probably for entirely different reasons. Tears glistened in his eyes as he glanced around the room, anywhere but the older male sitting on his bed. "I'm- I'm really sorry. I know it's weird. I'm so sorry, Lou, I understand if you don't want to see me anymore. I'm a freak-"

 

Louis was on his feet in seconds and he rushed over to the sniffling boy, wrapped his arms around his shaking frame. "Shh, baby, no," Louis cooed, rubbing his hands up and down Harry's back. "You aren't a freak. It's not weird."

 

"It's not?"

 

"Of course not, I don't know what's going on in your curly little head," Louis smiled, pulling back from the hug so his eyes could connect with Harry's, to show that his next few words are truthful. "I actually think it's really hot. You'd look amazing, babe. Have to put on a show for me some day."

 

Harry blushed. "You mean that?"

 

"Have I lied to you so far?" Harry shook his head. Louis leaned closer, rubbing his lips against Harry's jawline, and whispered in his ear. "I'm already hard just thinking 'bout it."

 

"I could help you out, if you like?" Harry doesn't know where he got his sudden confidence, but he knew he loved the way Louis threw his head back and groaned at his words, saying "God, please, baby."

 

Harry's thin fingers go to Louis' pants, sliding down his sweats slowly, nervously. "You don't have to do this if you don't want to, love. I don't mind." Louis assures, making sure that Harry doesn't feel forced to pleasure him.

 

"I want to." 

 

Louis leads him over to the bed, where they both situate themselves back against the pillows they have pressed against the headboard. 

 

He begins to palm Louis over his boxers. He can feel the length of Louis' thick cock and it's impressive. Definitely bigger in size than Ben's, that's for sure. He pulls down his boxers and takes his dick into his hand.

 

Using the precum which is drizzling from his tip, he begins to toss him off. Louis is a mess, moaning Harry's name and constantly saying he's close, just five minutes in. Harry's surprised he has that effect on him.

 

When Louis finally comes, he swears he's seen stars. Harry is very skilled with his hands. "Thanl you, baby. That was perfect."

 

Altough seeing Louis' eyes flutter in bliss and hearing his throaty moans made Harry hard in his sweats, he wasn't ready to let Louis help him get out. 

 

He lay on his side beside the boy, feeling comfort in the way his arms were sliding around his body to envelope him from behind. Harry loved when Louis spooned him. He let Louis engulf him completely and before he could stop himself he was falling into a deep sleep.

 

So much for going out, Louis thought.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you know the drill.x


	10. chapter nine.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> larry kiss and we meet Liam,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In honour of five years, I decided to update. I'm so proud of our boys and couldn't be happier for them. I really hope you guys enjoy this chapter :)

Louis wasn't complaining when he woke the next day to a body sprawled across his, a tangle of curls in his face, and soft snores puffing out against his bare chest. The duvet had clearly been tangled in with the mess of their long limbs, as it barely concealed under the waist. The sun was illuminating the bedroom. Louis gently shifted so that Harry's body rested beside him, rather than on top of him. The boy let out a grunt and Louis' heart dropped, hoping he didn't disturb his sleep. But the snores picked up again and Harry subconciously slung an arm around Louis' torso. 

 

Louis was able to see his face properly now. The light casted shadows on certain areas of Harry's face. His eyelashes rested gently on his flushed cheeks, Louis was amazed that he still blushed in sleep, as if he was somehow aware of the boy beside and the intimate moment they shared the night before. God, was it perfect. He can't wait for him and Harry to do more. But Louis thinks the most beautiful thing about the sleeping boy beside him was the look of innocence and peacefulness he held. Louis always gets the impression that the younger boy is nervous and jittery around him, always holding back and scared of a lot of things. Seeing him this relaxed for once is almost a relief. 

 

Louis' phone buzzed from the bedside locker beside him and he picked it up, seeing he got a text from Niall. 

 

**_where r u_ **

 

And, since when the fuck did Niall Horan care where he was? 

 

Actually, when was it ever Niall's business? 

 

Louis doesn't snoop on his life and demand to know where he is. Well, that's a bit hyprocritical of him. If he wasn't aware of Niall constantly being with Zayn, then he too would be bugging him. And Niall's just trying to be a good friend. He decides to ignore the question and answers with-

 

_**i wanna fuckin cuddle him and talk to him for hrs and hold his hand and kiss stupid fuckin face and run my fingers through his stupid fuckin hair** _

 

He doesn't get an answer for a while so he sits and watches Harry for a little bit, thinking  _this is so creepy._   When he does get one it reads  _ **eww. me nd zee r goin out latr. u**_ **comin?**

 

Louis hasn't had a lads night in ages so it was obvious he'd be joining. Just when he was about to text Niall back, Harry started to stir in his sleep. 

 

"Good morning, baby." He spoke softly, not wanting to startle Harry. Harry blinked his eyes open and gave Louis a dimpled smile, his  _Louis smile._

 

"Morning, Lou." His voice was raspy from not being used. He let out a lowd yawn and stretched his long limbs. It was the best sleep he'd had in ages. Part of him knew it was because he had Louis there to hold him and protect him, but he didn't want to accept it. "Sleep well?"

 

Louis gazed at the boy with nothing but fond and adoration in his eyes. Harry was just so beautiful.

 

"You're so beautiful." Louis couldn't take his eyes off of him. His heart fluttered as he watched Harry's cheeks tinge a light pink. He,  _Louis Tomlinson,_  had this effect on this angel. "And I'd really like to kiss you."

 

There was a second of silence.

 

"Would you, I mean, can I kiss you?" He asked. Harry nodded eagerly, eyes big and bright. 

 

Louis moved extra slowly, as if he was trying not to startle Harry. His hand rested on the top of Harry's thigh and the other moved to the back of his neck, his fingers tangling with the mess of curls. 

 

Harry wasn't sure where to place his hands but every fleeting, nervous thought drifted away when their lips met. is hands found their energy and they rested on his shoulders and Louis pulled him forwards. 

 

They both smiled into the kiss until Louis' tongue licked his plump bottom lip, Harry letting out a hum of surprise when his tongue slipped smoothly into his mouth. 

 

Louis gently tugged Harry onto his lap and they continued their kiss. Their mouths slotted together as if they were jigsaw puzzles. His hands slipped to the lower part of Harry's back as they broke the kiss. 

 

It wasn't some cliche movie moment with the exploding fireworks, but it was perfect to them.

 

With tingling lips, Harry smiled shyly at Louis and pecked his cheeks. 

 

Louis hummed and said, "We wont do anything you don't want to do, baby. What would you like?"

 

"Kiss me again."

 

\--

 

He was at some shitty club with Niall and Zayn, but the two lovers left him stranded to join the other sweaty bodies grinding on each other on the dancefloor. His morning with Harry continue to play in his mind and he knew that moment would stay etched into his memories. 

 

Hopefully they had loads of future kissing. 

 

Taking a swig of his beer, he rested into his chair and spotted someone in the mix of dancing people, who had already been watching him.

 

The boy was handsome, nothing compared to his Harry though. He wasn't your typical looking boy. He was wearing a white tank top which showed of his toned arms beautifully. The slight buzzlook he had going suited him well. His strong appearance appealed to Louis the more he looked at the man. God, was he good looking. 

 

With all thought's of Harry fucked out the window, he began making his way towards the muscled boy, ignoring the feelings of guilt in his stomach. His lustful eyes scanned the boys face when he came face to face with the man, who held a shit eating grin.

 

"Wanna dance?" From the looks the boy was giving him, Louis knew he'd be getting more than a dance out of this lad. Louis was going to add him to his list. "M'Louis."

 

"Liam, pleasure to meet you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comment or leave a kudos if you liked it :) if you want to talk you can check out my tumblr or twitter. byyyeee.x


	11. chapter ten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! i hope you enjoyy, I'm sorry it has taken me a while to update, but I already know how I'm going to write the next chapter and I hope to have it up soon :) thank you for 217 kudos, that is incredible! .x

"So, who was that guy you were talking to last night?"

 

Louis looked over to Niall, shoving a spoonful of Frosties into his mouth. He could barely remember the previous night out, his raging hangover leaving him to presume that he got nothing but plastered. Niall hadn't been much help, just laughing his head off at Louis' misery. "Huh?"

 

"The guy you were grinding on? Strong, short hair? Extremely good looking." Niall chuckled, sitting himself beside Louis. "Surely you remember him."

 

_Oh._ Him.

 

"That was Liam," Louis shrugged, watching the movie play on his TV screen as if this conversation was not important what-so-ever. "The newest addition to my list."

 

Niall scoffed, wacking him on the back of the head. The idiot deserved more. "Harry's gonna be devastated, y'know. Zayn will kill you."

 

"Not if they don't find out Niall, so keep your fucking mouth shut."

 

Louis couldn't help but think this was going to end up being the worst decision he's ever made.

 

\--

 

Harry was on his way over to meet Zayn at their favourite cafe. It was a nice small place near the library he worked at and he always goes there for his lunch break, but most of the time it's to chat to the cute old ladies that work there. It's probably lame, but they're just so lovely to Harry. 

 

When he got there he was greeted by Kate, the owner, and he ordered his usual mango and pineapple smoothie with an oatmeal cupcake. He spotted Zayn at a window table and made his way over to him, giving him a gentle hug before he sat himself in the seat across from him.

 

"You look hammered," Harry giggles, throwing his jacket across the back of his chair. "Fun night?"

 

"God, no," Zayn whined, running his fingers through his short hair. For once in his life Harry feels like he looks better than Zayn. "Remind me to never let Niall and Louis drag me out drinking again."

 

"Louis went with you?"

 

Harry gets that they weren't official yet and he doesn't want to seem like an over possesive boyfriend figure, but why wouldn't Louis invite him? He would have thought that after their kiss they'd be spending even more time together. 

 

"Erm, yeah, didn't he say?" Just as Zayn was speaking, one of the new waiters came and gave them their order. The two boys thanked her and she scurried away, 

 

"No, he didn't" Harry sighed, taking a sip of his smoothie. "But speaking of Louis, he kissed me, Zayn. And it was the best kiss I've ever had."

 

"I'm happy for you, Haz. You deserve to be happy." Zayn reached across the table and grabbed Harry's hand, stroking his thumb over the back of the younger boy's hand. "I'm glad you're getting over Ben."

 

At the mention of his name, Harry frooze. The memories of the dreaded night filled his mind and he felt suffocated, pathetic,  _weak._ Exactly how he did that night. He needed to get away, he coudln't do this.

 

Zayn seemed to notice the sudden change in his attitude, a frown etching his way onto his forehead. He clutched tighter onto Harry's hand, watching with worry as Harry's breathing picked up and tears pooled in his eyes. "Harry, love, are you alright?"

 

"No, am, I'm fine," Harry sniffled, blinking back his tears. He grabbed his drink and took a sip, trying to clear the lump in his throat. "I've got to go, Zee, I'm sorry. I just remembered I had to do something. I'll, uhm, text you, yeah?"

 

"Wait, Harry-" Harry pecked Zayn's cheeks, giving him a soft wave before he ran out of the cafe. Zayn sat and watched with a heavy heart a his friend disappeared between the people on the streets. 

 

\-- 

 

Later that day, after many hours spent crying, a knock sounded on Harry's door. He opened it to reveal Zayn, smiling softly as he lifted up Harry's jacket, the same one he left at the cafe earlier.

 

"I thought it'd be cool to bring you this," Zayn said, handing Harry the jacket. The younger boy nodded, muttering a soft thank you. "And maybe you'd tell me what happened and why you've been crying."

 

He knew this day would come. The day when he'd have to share his dirty secret with someone. He's just happy it was Zayn, and only Zayn. Not Niall or Louis or even his mom. 

 

"Yeah, I guessed," Harry led Zayn into his sitting room. "But I want to just say it, don't interrupt me, please. This is going to be hard for both of us, but it's time that I tell someone."

 

Zayn nodded, the same worried expression forming on his face. He once again held Harry's hand in reassurance, sensing this would be a hard subject to talk about.

 

"Ben, he, am-" Harry exaled shakily, already trembling. "Ben raped me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave a comment or kudos if you liked it :) be sure to follow me on tumblr at stylin-stagram, I'll definitely check out your blog.x


	12. chapter eleven.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> zarry tears and a little bit of poorly written smut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I only have ten days left of summer and even though I'll be doing as much things as possible, I want to get as many chapters of this written and my other story uploaded. so feel free to check that out because I'll be sure to link it once I have it ready :) enjoy!

"I'm going to kill him," Zayn seethed, anger boiling through his veins. Harry had seen Zayn angry often, but that was more out of disapointment. This anger was beyond compare to Zayn being simply annoyed that Harry accidentally spilled herbal tea on his brand new comic book, or forgot to pick up Zayn's cereal, etc. This was nothing Harry had ever seen before, and although it wasn't directed at him, it still caused chills to run down his spine. Tears prickled his eyes at the heartbreaking sight of Zayn trying to conceal his obvious rage, because  _he caused this._

 

If he had just kept his stupid mouth shut then Zayn wouldn't be upset in the first place. 

 

"I'm going to fucking kill him, Harry," Zayn spat out, fists clenched tight by his side in order not to lash out. Harry sat beside him, trembling in fear. He knew Zayn would never even think about causing him any pain or discomfort, but the emotional trauma Ben caused him made him have a hidden fear of all men. "He is fucking scum, is what he is. Dirt underneath my shoe. He's going to get what he deserves-"

 

A sudden dry sob caused him to pause his speech and to focus on the wailing boy sat in front of him. His best friend. This lovely, beautiful boy who only wants to do good in this world and be accepted, who is now sat sobbing his heart out. The vulnerable look Harry is giving him softens his heart, as he realises how terrified this angel is. 

 

"Shit, Haz, I'm sorry," Zayn shifted so he was able to wrap an arm around Harry, the boy immediately cuddling into his side. He pressed a gentle kiss to the crown of his head. "You're okay, babes. I'm here, you're safe. That bastard wont touch you ever again."

 

His sobs soon reduced to sniffles, he watched Zayn through exhausted eyes as he reached behind the couch and retrieved a blanket. He placed it over both of them as they moved into a comfier position. "Z-Zayn?"

 

"Yeah, babes? You're okay, just go to sleep. I love you. Everything's going to be okay."

 

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner," Harry yawned, his eyes already tightly shut as he began to slip into a horrid sleep. "I love you too."

 

\--

 

The next morning the two boys discussed the situation with a lot more detail, and a hell of a lot more tears. Harry left with a promise made to Zayn that he would tell Louis as soon as possible. Zayn also promised to treat Harry and bring him pantie shopping, where Harry wont have to spend a single penny. Although the thought filled him with dread, he knew he coudln't leave Louis in the shadows about all of this. Especially since Harry realises that Louis will eventually want to have sex with him. He's going to have to set some boundaries as to not set off any memories. 

 

He hates to admit it, but now since he confessed to someone, it feels like a weight has been lifted off his shoulder. 

 

He can't deny that it was easier for him to tell someone his secret, than to keep it up and live in constant fear. 

 

Harry had fallen into a pool of self loathing. It had seemed like there was no escape. After weeks of listening to the voice, speaking the same words Ben had, that he realised there really was a reason to hate the voice and he couldn't blame it on anyone else but himself. Because the voice putting him through constant torture, he realised, was his own.

 

\--

 

Harry lay across his bed on his tummy, legs kicking up and down, as he painted his nails. He was wearing nothing but a white pair of panties and a fluffy dressing gown. His tongue was poking out of his mouth as he concentrated on trying not to get the lilac colour on his cuticles, when there was suddenly a knock on his bedroom door. Thinking it was Zayn just checking up on him like he had the other twenty hundred times he had after he found out, he thought nothing of it and invited the person in.

 

He was pleasantly surprised when a certain punk boy walked in, smiling bashfully. "Hey baby," Louis smiled, pecking Harry lightly on the lips. "Your nails look lovely. And you look incredible, I could just eat you up," Louis paused, tracing his lips softly over Harry's jawline. "Or eat you out."

 

Harry gasped softly, not expecting Louis to be so blunt. He began grinding his hips into the blanket, muttering a soft "Please, Lou."

 

"Hmm, would you like that, darling?"

 

"Yes, please, I would love that. Please make me feel good." Harry whimpered. 

 

"You beg so beautifully baby."

 

Soon Harry had his bum in Louis' face. Louis spread Harry's bum cheeks as he licked the first swipe of his tongue right over Harry's pink fluttering hole, tasting his boy for the first time. "So tight, princess, and you taste amazing." Harry moaned and bucked back against his face. Louis used one of his hands to jerk Harry off as he continued to lick deeper inside the boy.

 

It came as a surprise that after a few minutes, that Harry cried out loudly and continued to grind on Louis' face as he came all over his butterfly tattoo on his stomach, his smudged nail polish soon forgotten. 

 

And if Harry grinded on Louis' cock in just his panties until he came, then nobody had to find out.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave me a comment telling me what you think and kudos if you enjoyed it! thank you so much for reading and supporting this story, you guys are amazing! .x


	13. chapter twelve.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> harry gets some of his feelings off his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hellooooo :) tomorrow is officially my last day of summer :(( I'm hoping I can keep a steady update routine going but it's going to be tough, not gonna lie. Anyway, I'll try have the next chapter up this weekend. I hope you enjoy this one.x

"Harry, baby, wake up. It's just a bad dream. You're okay."

 

Harry bolted awake, feeling the trail of tears on his cheeks and his body shivering in fear as the outcome of his nightmare. This nightmare had seemed so _real_.He throws himself into Louis' arms, sobbing hysterically into the crook of his neck. Louis cooed, carding his fingers through Harry's tangled curls. He didn't care that the topless boy was dripping sweat. It broke his heart to see his boy this scared. He needs to know  _why._ Who hurt this angel this much for him to experience these night terrors?  _Will the trauma, hurt, fear ever go away?_

 

After a few minutes, Harry's sobs died down into soft cries, until it was mere hiccups leaving the traumatised boy. Trails of saliva, snot and tears were evident on Louis' neck and shoulder, but he didn't care. He needed to make sure Harry was okay. He wanted to know what he could do to make it better. 

 

"Harry, love," Louis spoke softly, hoping not to startle Harry. Harry hummed, pressing a soft kiss to Louis throat indicating he was listening. And,  _shit._ Louis had no clue what to say. "You're going to have to tell me what's going on. Who is haunting your dreams? I need to know, baby, or else I can't help you."

 

Harry sighed. He knew he was going to have to tell Louis the truth, especially with Zayn's threat of telling Louis himself dangled over his head. "I guess- I mean," he coughed, Louis smiling at him in reasurance. His mom had always told him to pick someone who is supportive. He thinks Louis fills those shoes pretty well. "I need to tell you the truth. I just- I _need_ you to promise me that you won't, eh, find me gross? Or disguting afterwards. Please, Louis."

 

"I would never find you disgusting or gross, Harry" Louis was bewildered. Harry was God's greatest gift to earth, how could Louis ever think those horirble things? The nervous look on Harry's face made him feel scared as to what he was about to find out. It couldn't be this bad, could it? "I promise, princess."

 

"Okay, right. Thanks." Harry thought for a bit, trying to find the right words to say. "So, Zayn must've told you about my ex, Ben Winston, yeah?" Louis nodded, holding tightly onto Harry's hand, rubbing his thumb over the back. 

 

"I met Ben when I was young and naive. He was everything to me. My first real relationship, too. I guess the thought of dating someone much older than me was hot, almost like a sugar daddy type thing." Harry chuckled. He was such an idiot. "I should have realised Ben was going to take advantage of me. He knew I was head over heals for him. So, I should have known that just a few days after giving him my virginity, he would break up with me."

 

Louis gasped, tilting Harry's chin up and pressing their lips together. "Harry, I'm so sorry- I would never do that to you."

 

"Louis, I'm not finished," Harry giggled as Louis held his hands up in surrender, then pretended to seal his lips with a zip. "Anyway, I was left a mopey mess. Zayn got sick of me constantly using him as a cuddle machine, so he made me go to a party with him. I didn't mind, kept telling myself that I was going to have my first ever one night stand."

 

Harry's voice had begun to tremble as he was nearing telling Louis about his traumatic experience. Louis sensed they were about to hit the nerve so he scooted closer to the boy, pulling him into his chest and holding him close. He wanted Harry to know he was here for him.

 

"At the party, I- I bumped into Ben. Obviously I was surprised, but my drunk mind was excited to see him. Ben seemed pleased to see me, too. Until he got kind of mad, almost possessive over me? I don't know. But he sorta ordered me to go home with him."

 

"Harry," Tears were leaking down Louis' cheeks. He had an idea of where this was going. "Please, tell me he didn't.  _Please._ " _  
_

 

"Ben raped me, Louis," Harry whimpered, a dry sob falling from his bitten lips. "He raped me. Leaving me like I'm a lump of fucking shit. A worthless, pathetic slut. I was,  _I am_ , worth more than that. I hate him, Louis.  _I fucking hate him."_

 

"Oh God, Harry," Louis sobbed, holding tightly onto his boy, his angel. How dare Ben fucking touch him. He can imagine a scared defenseless Harry being forced against his will. He fucking wants Ben to get a taste of his own medicine. See how he likes it being tortured. He's going to fucking kill him. Louis wonders how many other people know about this,  _is he the only one?_ In the back of his mind he's thinking,  _how could I ever win this stupid fucking bet if Harry was sexually abused?_ There is no way he's going to have sex with him anytime soon. He's worried Niall wont want him to see the boy again. 

 

"Princess, what can I do? How do I help?"

 

"Make me forget. Please, Louis. Just make me forget."

 

"You're so beautiful, baby," Louis whispers, blue eyes glossy with tears as he listens to the gentle sobs from Harry. Harry can't see anything through his tears. He closes his eyes, choking as Louis presses his lips into his hair. "I'm going to show you how beautiful you really are, H. How lovely every single inch of you is. I'll do it until you believe me. And if that's when we're old and withering away, who cares. You'll still be beautiful." 

 

Louis is so cautious and gentle when he turns Harry around to face him. Seeing the tears in Louis' eyes makes him even more emotional and he's torn between believing Louis or not. 

 

Harry can't stop the feeling of joy and warmth as Louis presses another soft kiss on his lips. For the first time since Ben abused him, Harry felt genuinely happy. Of course he's been happy since then, but this moment was  _undescribable._

 

Harry couldn't put into words the feeling. He felt _safe and happy and **loved.**_

 

Harry loves Louis. 

 

Not in the way he loves Zayn or Niall or his mom. 

 

Not in the way he loved Ben.

 

This love was even better. It felt  _right._

 

"Louis?"

 

"Yeah, baby?" Louis asked, brushing the hair out of Harry's eyes and pecking Harry's flushed cheeks. 

 

"Vi amo."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> btw if you don't know what "vi amo" means, it's Italian for I love you. Harry once said it in an interview :) All will be explained soon as to why he said it instead of just saying I love you. Please don't forget to leave a kudos or comment if you liked it, they encourage me to update sooner. And be sure to contact me on tumblr/twitter. Bye for nowww.x


	14. chapter thirteen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this isn't sooner, but so much has happened since my last update; i'm finally 16, I got my exam result and they weren't the best so lets not talk about that :) still had a great results night tho. HALSEY IS MY WIFE. I literally spent the last month doing homework so kill me, and I'm pretty sure there is a demon in my stomach so that's not fun. But I tried to make this a bit dramatic so enjoy.x

Loui still couldn't believe it. 

 

The night Harry told him, he lay beside Harry in his bed (decorated in pink covers and fluffy pillows because it's  _Harry_ ) and cried for hours. He knew Harry was awake because normally he'd snore or be having a nightmare by then. It annoyed him that he hadn't even tried to comfort Louis. Of course Louis couldn't possibly imagine what Harry has gone through, what he still has to live with, but they were in this together. 

 

So, Louis did what he always does when he's running away from his problems.

 

He packed up and left Harry's house without looking back and headed straight over to Nialls. He was even more pissed that Harry didn't try to stop him. Maybe Harry knew it was his way of coping. 

 

When he arrived at Niall's, the blonde could tell something was worrying his friend. They went out to the local gay club because it's what Louis needed. 

 

And he got  _plastered_.

 

So much that he suffered through two days of being hungover and he  _still_ doesn't remember half of the night.

 

Except for the part when he hooked up with Liam fucking Payne. 

 

Which,  _shit,_ but at least he can cross one name off his list. He regrets it so much. He feels like he cheated on Harry in a way. And why the fuck was Liam even at the club? Does he just go out every night? Who does that? 

 

He can't let Harry find out. His precious tiny cute Harry, he'll be crushed. Louis' a  _monster._ Just like Ben. Harry shouldn't be with monsters. He deserves the nicest, most handsome man out there, who would fucking spoil him rotten and remind him every day how beautiful he is. 

 

Harry deserves the best.

 

Sadly, that isn't him.

 

\--

 

"What does vi ano even mean?"

 

Zayn chocked on his coke, laughing hysterically from his spot beside Niall on their leather coach. Louis had gone over to hang out and watch some movies, question life and hopefully get high. He frowned at Zayn, because, honestly. What was so fucking funny? 

 

"What's so fucking funny?"

 

Niall joined in on Zayn's laughing. They're sickeningly cute like that; when one smiles, the other does. When one cries, the other does. It's disgusting. And annoying. They need to stop. 

 

"Vi ano? Mate, that's italian for 'I anus you'."

 

Niall cracked up even more, his loud bellowing laughter echoing around the small room. Louis just glared. 

 

"What? That can't be right," he questioned. Maybe he hadn't heard Harry right. "Why would Harry tell me he'd anus me? Surely it'd be me anus'ing him, right?"

 

"Wait," Zayn said, all trails of laughter leaving his face. He sat up, never taking his eyes off of Louis. _What the fuck._ "Harry said that to you? Shit."

 

"Uhm, yeah?" Louis asked, laughing awkwardly. This is making him feel nervous. "Why?"

 

"He didn't say I anus you, Louis," Zayn ran a finger through his hair, sighing. Niall gave his cheek a kiss, running a comforting hand on his shoulder. "He said he loves you."

 

_Shit. This can't be happening._

 

"W-What? Are you taking the piss? This isn't funny, Zayn, I swear to-"

 

"No, I'm not kidding at all. It's Harry's way of saying it. Said it to Ben, too."

 

_Shit._

 

 

_\--_

 

Louis was sitting at home scoffing his face with sweet and salty popcorn, enjoying the new 'Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' episode and wishing he was as rich as them, when he got a facebook notification. Which is weird because it's not his birthday and the only other time he uses facebook is to text.

 

It was from Niall, saying that he was tagged in a photo he posted.

 

Louis' going to kill him. He told him that he hates having his photos going up.

 

He clicked onto it, praying that it wont be as bad as usual, but it was even worse. 

 

So much worse.

 

Niall was in the front of the photo chugging down a pint. In the background, clear as day, is Louis snogging the face off Liam. It's obvious the photo was taken recently because Louis has a beard and Niall just got his hair re-dyed. It was the night that Harry told him he got raped. It's captioned "sick night !!" and Liam is tagged too.

 

Louis is really going to kill Niall this time- Harry's definitely going to see it, if he hasn't already. He checks his chat box to see if Harry's online, hoping to God he isn't so that he can tell Niall to take it down, but there's a small green circle beside Harry's name and Louis is officially screwed.

 

\--

 

Louis banged on the door, shouting for NIall over and over again. The door swings open, revealing Niall with a smirk on his face. The bastard-

 

"You fucking did that purposefully you dick!" Louis shoved Niall back against the wall, holding his forearm over his throat. "I'm going to kill you! Why do you want him taken away from me?"

 

"Louis, it's for his own good," Niall said, pushing Louis off of him. "Harry needs someone who wants to be in a secure relationship, someone to love him, too. That's not you, mate. I'm sorry."

 

He's right. "I've to talk to him."

 

"If you really care 'bout him," Louis was walking away. He didn't want to give the dick the satisfaction that he was still listening to every word."You'll end things with him."

 

Which is exactly what he's going to do.

 

\--

 

"Harry, please, let me explain."

 

Louis had arrived at Harry's and the boy was clearly distraught. His eyes were rimmed red and his rosy cheeks and blotched angry red. Louis really wanted to punch himself for causing Harry more pain, after everything. But the boy had smiled softly, moving past to allow Louis to step inside. His smile hadn't reached his eyes, but at least something was there. 

 

They were sitting in Harry's dining room across from each other, sipping at a cup of tea. 

 

"No, Louis," Harry breathed out a laugh, bringing his knees up to his chest and hugging them close. He looked so young and innocent here. Louis wanted to capture this moment in a picture and keep it dear to his heart forever. "You really don't have to explain. I shouldn't have expected you wanted to settle down with me. Zayn told me you don't do relationships. I should have known that included me. It's okay."

 

"No Harry, you don't understand." Louis sighed, reaching over and grabbing Harry's hand between his. 

 

"You were the first person who made me feel beautiful and sexy...and loved. You were my first love."

 

"Harry-" Louis chocked on a sob.

 

"And I wish with all my heart that you were my last."

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comment and kudos if you liked it, I always respond and it encourages me to update sooner :) also, I posted a new fic if ye want to check that out. Thanks for reading.x


	15. chapter fourteen.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How can a star fall in love with a simple stargazer?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS MY CONCERT IS THIS SUNDAY OMG IM SO EXCITED. I didn't think I was going to update before it because school has been so stressful but I need to take a while to relax and calm down because I was honestly about to have a mental breakdown. So that wasn't fun. And my friends are really upsetting me :( This chapter is kind of just an insight on what Louis are feeling rn. But anyyywaaayyyy on a more happier note I hope you all enjoy it.x :)

Louis remembers one of the last things his granny ever said to him before she passed away.  _"If you don't learn how to be scared, you'll never really learn how to be brave."_ Louis was wild back in those days; after just turning twenty-one, he was constantly drinking and getting high with his mate Stan. He thought he was the definition of cool as he strolled through the streets in thick leather jackets and gelled back quiffs, when in reality he probably looked like he was in a tribute band for the arctic monkeys. 

 

Louis never really understood what his granny was talking about- it could have been anything, marriage, college, work, death, etc. But, he swore to never forget it in case it came in handy one day. 

 

Funny enough, it did. 

 

It was the only thing going through his mind as he walked away from Harry's home, possibly for the last time. 

 

It was the only thing on his mind as he sent a message to Niall saying " _ **Never talk to me**_ ** _again_.** " **  
**

 

And it was the only thing on his mind as he went out and got drunk off his mind, hooking up with a stranger in a stingy bathroom.

 

It was safe to say that Louis' life has fallen to shit. He watched in the mirror every day as more stubble grew on his face, the life slowly draining from his eyes, his smile gradually turning into a frown. He had no one to blame but himself. 

 

He took Harry for granted and now he had no one. He stopped talking to Liam. He didn't know why he did in the first place when he had beautiful boy already. He wont reply to Niall or Zayn's messages no matter how much he wants to, because he didn't want to accept the fact that Niall was right- he was only going to hurt Harry. It's exactly what he did. 

 

He remembers one night that he had stupidly rang Harry late at night, after several glasses of wine. Of course the boy hadn't answered, Louis had been expecting that much, but it still hurt. So, his drunken mind had thought it would be a good idea to leave Harry a voice mail.

 

_"Harry. I hope you realise that I never really liked you, yeah? Like, you were cute and every thing. Probably would've been a good shag, too. If you had actually let me fuck you. That's why I had Liam- he was hot. Fuck."_  His voice slurred through the phone. He regretted saying those awful things so much. It was all lies, utter bullshit. He couldn't let Harry know he was hurting this badly, though. Louis had grown up believing that it "wasn't manly" to show your emotions. His mother hated that about him and tried to encourage him to express his feelings. It rarely ever happened.  _"Okay, you're hot too, Harry. I'm hot, aren't I? You're hot, I'm hot, so why aren't we together? Hot people should date. We'd make everyone jealous, babycakes. I miss you. I really really miss you. I'm so sorry-"_

 

Thank God the machine cut him off before he could embarrass himself any further. 

 

He wasn't lying that time though. He did miss Harry. And he was so so sorry. 

 

And they should be together. They're  _Harry and Louis._

 

Soon, Louis will have to face the fact that he let Harry slip through his fingers. Harry will find someone better and who will treat him like he should be treated. When Harry smiles, it's like the world makes sense and everything is exactly as it should be- because he's happy. 

 

He'll soon forget the colour of Harry's eyes and Harry will soon forget his. 

 

He just didn't want to accept it. 

 

\--

 

It's been exactly a week since he stopped seeing Louis. Even though he was heartbroken, he wouldn't let all of him die. Like his previous breakup, he spent his days in bed cuddling with Zayn and scoffing down tubs of icecream. He's called in sick to work too. He couldn't let the children know that he was upset again, they always pick up on it and it brings a negative atmosphere into a place they're meant to enjoy. 

 

Part of him wants to hate Louis, but he can't. 

 

Louis made him feel things he could have never imagined, and for that, he's grateful. 

 

When Harry was in a dark place, Louis was like the sunshine that brightened up his days, and the stars that protected him at night. How can a star fall in love with a simple stargazer? 

 

The first day without Louis, Harry searched the meaning of death. 

 

1.The act of dying: cessation of life. 

2\. The permanent ending of vital processes in a cell or tissue. 

3.The action or fact of dying or being killed. 

 

In a way, Harry feels like he's dead. It's okay though- the dead bring to the world what the living fail to. 

 

So he doesn't really mind being dead now, as long as he was alive in his dreams, with Louis by his side. 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> should I make a tumblr just for this? Would ye follow me? Don't be afraid to talk to me on my tumblr now tho, literally I will talk to you about anything hahaha.x Don't forget to comment or leave a kudos if you liked it!


	16. chapter fifteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry just wants to forget.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY GUYS I'm sorry it's been so long, but this time last week I was at one direction in Dublin and my soul has officially been cleansed. They were so beautiful. AND I made a new tumblr where I'll be posting previews of my fanfictions, saying if I'm updating, previews of new works, etc. http://harry-is-the-little-spoon.tumblr.com/ so it would be cool to follow me so we can talk about Larry and rec fanfics, I'll totally follow back if you say you came from here. But anyway, I hope you enjoy! There is a bit of violence in this so be careful guys. Love you!.x

As Harry made his way up the long narrow staircase leaving to the oh-so-familiar wooden door he focused on the words Louis once told him- " _Facing your enemy required courage, but, facing your worst nightmares required desperation edging towards insanity._ " He would never understand where the short punk boy came up with it, whether it was from a song or a book, but it will forever stay with Harry. Especially in times like this. 

 

He was only doing this for one reason, if he was honest. That was to finally get rid of what has been haunting him for months now. It's harder without Louis, almost as if he's been forced to suffer alone, which is why he's so pushed to do this now. That still doesn't mean he's not scared shitless. But, another wise thing Louis once told him in one of his most vulnerable states was " _if you don't learn how to be scared, you'll never really learn how to be brave._ "

 

So, Harry takes a steady breath to calm his nerves and ignores the butterflies in his stomach warning him of what a bad idea this is and raises a shaky hand to knock on the door. His confidence is slowly vanishing so he thinks of Louis. 

 

He can hear the sound of heavy footsteps, the light flickers on, then the door creaks open, revealing his worst nightmare. 

 

_Ben._

 

_This was a bad idea this was a bad idea what the fuck was I thinking this is such a bad idea_

 

"Oh. Harry." Ben was clearly shocked, his thick stupid vampire eyebrows raised in shock as he took in the appearance of his shaking ex boyfriend, as pale as a ghost. "What a lovely surprise. What can I do for you, love?"

 

“I want to talk to you. Please,” Harry blurts like he isn’t shaking a little from head to toe in a way that wasn’t entirely related to the cold. "I just- I want to tell you. Benjamin Franklin once said, uh, that we are all born ignorant. But one must uh work hard to remain stupid."

 

Ben had an amused grin on his face, probably thinking Harry was just a blubbering mess. "So what's your point, love?"

 

"I-I think he was referring to people like you, Ben." Harry was so proud of himself in this moment, no matter how silly his stuttering made him feel. He was finally letting go. "And I just want you to know that I forgive you. I forgive you, Ben."

 

"Not this again," Ben groaned. "You wanted that, Harry. You practically begged for my cock to split you in two for a year and when I finally do, you cry like a baby? You're fucking messed up." Harry was beginning to tear up because that wasn't right, Ben's lying.

 

"N-No. That's not what happened- You _forced_ me. You made me believe you loved me and then you raped me, you manipulate fuck-"

 

Before Harry could blink there were two hands on his chest, shoving, sending him reeling backwards, and he was falling, hard, body crumpling under the anger coming off of the man he once loved.

 

Pain seared up his back, and he blinked away tears long enough to see Ben hovering over him, his big and wrapping around Harry's throat as the boy wheezed for air. He leaned closer, his lips brushing off Harry's ear as he whispered "I dare you to finish that sentence, you stupid slut."

 

He hadn't expected it to hurt that much as Ben pulled back his fist, sending a punch right onto Harry's cheekbone, surely bruising his eye, too. "If you know whats good for you kid, you'd leave. Or, I could find another way to put your pretty mouth to use."

 

But Harry didn't want to hea any of those words so he blocked them out, thinking of Louis' bright smile. 

 

He didn’t look at Ben at all when he stumbled out the door. He was numb as he made his way down the streets, the street lamps his only security as the darkness began to creep into his soul. And every tear that ran down his cheek got scrubbed away as soon as he could find the strength.

 

It wasn’t until he knocked on the door that he comprehended that he went straight to Louis' home.

 

The second the door opened, Harry collapsed into Louis' arms, sobbing hysterically. 

 

"Harry?" Louis' voice was a shaky whisper, he didn't know how to react to the situation. Of course he didn't, Harry thought, they hadn't spoken in weeks and suddenly he shows up more of a mess then he was before. "What's the matter, baby?"

 

That just made Harry sob even harder, releasing an endless stream of apologies. Louis pulled back cooing at the younger boy. "C'mon, you're shaking. Lets get you inside." Harry made sure to keep his head down. He couldn't let Louis know he was hurt. He shouldn't have come here. 

 

A few tears leaked from his eyes as Louis lead him into the sitting room, occasionally whimpering as every step hurt. He was sat on the couch, Louis leaning down on the carpet in front of him. 

 

"Harry, babe? Can you look at me? Just to show me you're alright, okay? I missed you so much, just want to see your pretty face again, yeah? You can trust me."

 

Already a large, mottled bruise was forming on the curve of Harry’s cheek.  It was starting to swell, as was the bruise on his eye. His eyes were a dark shade of red as they raised to meet Louis', his cheeks flushed out of embarrassment and fright. 

 

“F-fuck,” Louis said shakily, staring at the red marks on Harry’s throat. "Oh my God, Harry. What happened?"

 

"I just wanted to forgive him. I just needed to forget, Louis. I needed to let go."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhm, don't kill me, I guess? I promise things will start to get better soon..I hope. But don't forget to follow my new tumblr and TALK TO ME I promise I'm nice, even if you hate me for slow updates. Leave a comment or kudos if you liked it.x


	17. chapter sixteen.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey Angel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this was earlier than I thought. But thanks to whoever in the comments who pointed out that my ask box wasn't open on my tumblr, thank you! This chapter is a direct follow up from the last so I hope you enjoy.x

_Hey Angel. Do you know the reasons why, we look up to the sky?_

 

"Who did this, Harry?" His voice comes out stern, yet soft. He knew not to show his anger as it would just frighten the boy even more. Harry's knee bounced out of a nervous habit and he shook his head,  _no, he couldn't tell Louis._ "C'mon babes,  wont be mad. You can tell me. You're such a good boy, shh."

 

There is no response other then a nod and a few quiet whimpers. Louis wipes them away, pressing his lips to Harry's temple in his best effort at calming the boy. Harry just begins to cry harder, his tears falling in earnest and endless streams of sobs escape his chapped lips. 

 

"I don't understand why he lied, Louis." Harry says, hiccuping between his words. Louis sat up on the couch beside him, pulling Harry into his lap so he's facing him. His arms wrap gently around his back in case there are any injuries. They rock gently back and forth. "I didn't want it, Louis, I swear. I really didn't want it. He made me. Please, please believe me, Louis. Please."

 

Anyone else might have been confused and asked 'who?' or 'what the fuck are you blabbering about?' but Louis didn't need to. There was only one person who had caused Harry this much pain in his life, and that was the same person Louis wanted to murder this very second. 

 

At that, Louis pulled back so he could meet Harry's red rimmed eyes. He watched Harry hiccup and sniffle for a few seconds. "Harry, darling, take a breath. Of course I believe you, you're okay, angel. My lovely darling, aren't you? I believe you."

 

_Hey Angel. Tell me, do you ever try to come to the other side?_

 

He never gets to tell Harry all the good things about him, how badly he wants to kill Ben, how he loves him with all his heart and was so stupid to let him go, before Harry is lurching forward and pressing his lips to his. For a second, Louis' mind freezes and he doesn't know how to respond to the soft press of Harry's plush lips against his. 

 

He oh so desperately wants to kiss back, believe him, he would give anything to kiss this angel. But Harry's vulnerable, he's not thinking straight. He was just assaulted once again by his ex boyfriend, for god's sake. 

 

It takes all of his will power to pull back from the kiss to look at Harry's miserable and now confused face. "Harry, I'm sorry. I can't do this."

 

"Oh, God. Louis I'm so sorry. Please don't hate me," Harry asked weakly, his hands falling from around Louis' neck. "I'm so- I completely forgot you had Liam. I'm so sorry. I swear it will never happen again-"

 

"What? Harry, take a breath for me, there you go, good boy," Louis begs, caressing his thumbs over Harry's cheeks. "I don't have Liam. Loosing you was the biggest mistake I ever made, trust me. And i really want to kiss you, angel, but you're upset. I don't want to take advantage of you." 

 

Harry let out a chocked sob, his eyes flutter closed as more tears spill from his lashes. When Louis pulls him to lay down on the couch with his head cradled in the crook of the older boys neck, he doesn't have the strength to protest. 

 

_Hey Angel. Tell me do you ever cry, while we waste away our lives?_

 

He lets Harry cry softly for a good hour, until his neck his soaked with tears and his heart hurts even more for the boy, until his back is aching and his fingers sore from carding through the boys curls. "Angel, I'm just going to run and get you some paracetamol, okay? Your bruise looks miserable and I don't want you to be in pain in the morning, okay?"

 

"No, please," Harry mumbled weakly, wrapping his arms tighter around Louis' torso. "I just want you to stay here with me, please. Promise you wont leave?"

 

"Okay, babe. I'm here for you, promise I wont go anywhere."

 

The oldest doesn't attempt to move after that. He pulls his fingers through Harry's hair which positively makes the boy purr. He will make sure to find out tomorrow what the happened that caused another encounter with Ben. 

 

Louis knows Harry wants to let go of what happened with Ben, but he knows it's harder than that. 

 

Harry needs someone to help him let go of the past. 

 

_Hey Angel. Do you look at us and laugh, when we hold on to the past?_

 

"I love you, Harry." Louis whispers, pressing a final kiss to Harry's head. He lets his eyes drift shut at last. Knowing Harry is safe in his arms is the only thing that gets him to sleep that night. 

 

_The sun is the same, in a relative way, but you're older._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure about this chapter tbh...BUT IS ANYONE ELSE AS EXCITED AS ME FOR HEY ANGEL?? I know it's going to make me cry as much as Harry did in this chapter. Leave a comment or a kudos if you liked it. Next update is going to be Loaded Gun. Don't forget to talk to me on tumblr guys. Thanks for reading.x


	18. chapter seventeen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys I'm so sorry please understand that I've been so busy with school and hospital issues and exams, I'm suprised I even fit this in. I know it's short but it's the best I can do. I won't be able to update until close to Christmas :( I'm so sorry, please understand how much stress exams are putting me under. But on a happier note, I hope you enjoy this chapter.x

Harry woke up to the scent of cinnamon and arms around him, and in his state of half-consciousness, he tried to convince himself that the previous night was just a figment of his imagination, tormenting him in his most vulnerable state. 

 

But when his vision unclouded and his mind began to process his surroundings, he realised that the arms wrapped around his waist were Louis'. The pain felt on his face was a never ending reminder of his idiotic decision to visit Ben. He considered, for a moment, to have a mini breakdown and bolt out of Louis' home. He then remembered last night, how Louis treated him with all the love in the world, how melancholy he was at Harry's distraught state. 

 

It made him want to stay.                                                                       

 

In fact, he never wanted to leave. Wrapped safely in Louis' arms, covered with a soft white blanket, listening to Louis' gentle snoring. He decided that he has never been happier in this moment. 

 

"Louis?" He called out gently, wanting desperately to talk to the boy. He craned his neck to look at Louis, his eyelashes were resting on his cheeks and his mouth hung open a small bit. Louis was always beautiful, but he was prettiest when he slept. He nuzzled his face into the older boys neck, pressing a soft kiss to the bare skin, and wait. Can he even do that? They aren't what they used to be. "Louis. Wake up."

 

He kept whispering words to the boy, poking him on the nose until his eyes opened, groaning softly making Harry giggle. He seemed to process then that Harry was lying spread across his chest as a smile grew on his face, looking at the blushing boy, whispering "Harry."

 

"Hi." He giggled again. 

 

"Hello."

 

"Hi."

 

"Harold, I'm sorry." Suddenly all the playfulness was gone. Louis' head lowered and he rubbed a gentle hand up Harry's back, before taking his arms away, no longer wrapping around the boy. Harry's mind immediately filled with dread and rejection.

 

"For what?" 

 

"For what I did with Liam," His voice was defeated, he glanced shamefully up at the younger boy. "You must hate me."

 

"I don't hate you." Harry sighed, taking Louis' hand in his. He pushed himself up so that he was sat on Louis' lap, legs spread around his waist. "I could never hate you, Louis, because. Because I'm kind of really in love with you." 

 

Louis' sheepish smile turned into a huge grin and he lunged forward, attaching his lips to Harry's. Harry of course returned the kiss, both boys grinning into each other’s mouths. 

 

“I missed you so much, baby." Louis' arms circled Harry's slim waist, leaning forward so his forehead touched the younger boys. He smiled, but despite how happy he was to have his boy back, he couldn't help the guilty feeling filling his being as he glanced at the swelling bruise covering half of Harry's face. "How's your face, love? Anything else thats sore that I don't know about?"

 

"My heart."

 

Harry sniffled, eyes glassing over with another round of fresh tears. He felt like a character from a movie, who spends their lives wallowing in self pity and hatred. He can never stop crying. 

 

"Oh, love."

 

"Please, Louis," Harry said, voice panicked, though his face is crestfallen. "Please fix my heart."

 

The smile drops right off of Louis' face. He looks into Harry's eyes, making sure the boy knows he's telling the truth. He feels a bit silly as this was the way he used to speak to his sisters but he'd do anything to show Harry how much he cares. "Harry. You're whole world has collapsed during the past few months. I loathe Ben for what he did for you, but this experience brought us together. I love you Harry, babe, and I wouldn't change anything. We'll fix each other." He sighs, pushing Harry's hair out of his face and tucking it behind his ear. God, he's so beautiful.  "You matter to me, Harry," he says simply. "So, don't worry about it. I'll mend your broken pieces."

 

Harry thinks he could do with that answer for now. 

 

\--

 

Louis takes a deep breath, knowing exactly who was on the other side of the brown wooden door, needing to prepare himself. He pulls it open, seeing exactly who he expected. "Niall."

 

"Louis." Niall replies, testing the waters. Him and Louis haven't spoken for  _days_ , he misses his best friend-if he can even call him that anymore. It's all his fault, too. 

 

"Look, Niall, I appreciate you coming here and all. But I don't want to talk to you."

 

Which may have been a bit harsh but it's no way a lie. Unlike Niall, who broke the ultimate rule of friendship, Louis would never commit such a crime. It's dispicable, the thought makes him sick. (Which, too, is a huge exageration. But his feelings are hurt, what does Niall expect?)

 

"What was I supposed to do, Louis?" Nialls voice was soft but as cold as ice. The two were the worst people to fight; Niall was harsh and cold, Louis being insulting and honest. Like fire and ice. "You were playing with the kids feelings. If Zayn found out, he'd dump me in a second. I love him Louis. I'm sorry, but it was either your selfish ways or my happiness. What would you have done?"

 

"It's none of your business what I do, Horan. What you did was invasive and bitchy and you crossed a line." Louis growls, crossing his arms.

 

Niall rolls his eyes and nods. He understands why his actions would upset the older boy, but he has no regrets. "I didn't only do it for me. I did it for Harry."

 

"That's a load of shit and you know it!" Louis yells, outraged. "You could give two fucks about that boy! Don't try and defend what you did to make yourself seem like a hero, because trust me, it makes you seem like more trash than you already were."

 

"I'm not trash," Niall grumbles. "I swear, say it again, Tommo. And I'll knock yere teeth out. Don't fucking try me."

 

"Are you sober, Niall?" Louis teased, eyes glistening with humour. Ever since Niall was accused of having an alcohol problem back when they were teenagers, he's always been self-cautious of being drunk. The idea of showing any emotions that he normally doesn't let people see scares the boy, so Louis knows he's hit a sensitive spot. 

 

He can already see Niall's mood switch from mad and upset to furious, his cheeks flushing a darker red, his hands clenched into tight fists at his sides, his nose scrunching up and a furrow between his brows. Louis smirked, leaning forward. 

 

"You're pathetic Niall. Selfish. And a bastard. You're constantly thinking of yourself and the only thing you want in life is attention. I'm fucking sick of it, just like your family were. What has it been Niall, a year? Two? Since you've last spoken to them? Zayn's going to see it to one day, Niall, your greed and self-obsession. He'll leave you too and you'll have no one. Absolutely no one. Nobody wants to be invited to your pity party anymore, so fucking lay off."

 

"Fuck you Louis. Don't lecture me about my family or the person I am. At least I have the strength to actually change who I am. At least I can fucking own up to my mistakes. At least I can fucking stick with one person. I can go out and apologise to my family first thing tomorrow, and Harry, because God does he deserve someone to apologise for having to deal with your shit. He's an angel and you don't deserve him. He's better off with Ben at this stage."

 

There's a long period of silence before Louis shakes his head. 

 

That was the last straw. 

 

"We're done."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next chapter will have more Larry and maybe a feature into Louis and Niall's past, if you would like. Comment if you do :) Thank you so much for reading and sticking with this story, I love you all. Have a good week.x

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on tumblr https://www.tumblr.com/blog/stylin-stagram and twitter https://twitter.com/harrys_chapel


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